I’m constantly trying to butch it up on dates so I don’t come across as “too gay.” Is that bad?

Hi Jake,

I’m ready to find a boyfriend. A friend told me that if I want to find a partner, I have to put in more effort, so I’ve been actively engaging on the apps and meeting people for a drink or coffee pretty much every week.

Throughout the dating process, I’ve noticed a few things about myself, including how shy I actually am at first. But the biggest thing I’ve discovered has taken me by surprise. On multiple occasions, I’ve noticed myself kind of butching it up, and trying not to seem too gay. It happens especially if the guy I’m meeting presents more masc. I notice a slight change in my voice tone and the way I speak certain words. I’ve also

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